My short girl problems!

All my life I have been a lover of high heels. Why? Because it gives me the height I am not naturally blessed with. I’m 5’3 ¾” and I hold onto that ¾” for dear life! I was most disappointed in my twenties when I had to accept the fact that this was it.

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Now, we all know the challenges of short girls. They are often depicted in pictures for comedic relief and I have a few of my favourites below.

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Photo credit: YouTube, BuzzFeed, BuzzFeed

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Photo credit: Imgur, Weheartit, Wanelo

The one with the feet unable to touch the ground has always been one of my favourites. It’s hilarious how my feet swing like a little girl’s because it can’t touch the ground! (LOL!) My least favourite is the seat-belt as the reality truly annoys me. No matter what I do, it always rubs me the wrong way. There are a few other things that irk me, like the fact that my 11-year-old sons are almost my height. Also, I have to adjust the height of the car seat each time I drive my husband’s car or whenever he drives mine. I also have to make two strides to match one of my husband’s when we are walking. Even washing the car is just as much a workout as doing Pilates or yoga stretches because I have a hard time reaching the top of the car.

Being 5’3 ¾” with a husband who is 6’3”, I didn’t realize that in buying our house there were so many height-wise things to consider. Here are a few of my favourites.

  • Bathroom counters and mirrors – these are the perfect height for me, but they are short for Gabriel. So the poor thing has to bend low and strain his back when using it. Point one for me!
  • Kitchen counters and cupboards – Each time the groceries need to be packed away or if I’m cooking, my husband needs to be close by. Otherwise, I have to climb up to access the cupboards. Please note that climbing up is also a huge task as the counters themselves are rather high. Advantage to Gabriel. He gets one point here.
  • Ceiling fans and light bulbs – Of course, anything that’s in the ceiling is naturally out of my reach. Hence, Gabriel automatically gets to do these chores – so let’s call this one a tie.   🙂
  • Our bed –Each time I need to go on the bed, I have to jump on like a toddler, while it’s the perfect height for Gabriel. On the other hand, the height of the bed is a fantastic advantage for fun and playful positions when necessary. We both win, so I think this is another tie!  😉

Sigh… the life of the vertically challenged. Regardless of all the challenges, it appears that in true marital equality, where one falls, the other holds them up. Who knew marital bliss and compatibility also hinged on height! Calling all “shorties” to represent – what are some of your “shortcomings”?  😉

My war with adult acne

Acne. Just saying the word upsets me. I cringe each day when I look in the mirror and see the dark spots. But alas, life goes on and I must face the world, even if I look like a teenager. My fight with acne started when I was pregnant. It was another sore point in my pregnancy and is one of my selfish reasons why I do not want more children and wish I could get a tubal ligation. I’m sorry, but my acne was so bad that my self-esteem took a nose dive and I cannot survive another attack like that. Yes, it is selfish, petty and childish but dammit I don’t care! So guys, brace for another selfish blog post.

As a teenager, I had fantastically, clean, smooth, acne-free skin. I had friends with major battles while I had none. I didn’t have a beauty regime or special diet to maintain my skin, l just naturally had it and was grateful. Then came pregnancy. It was one of the early symptoms and my OB/GYN said “No worries, your skin will clear up after you’ve had the babies and the hormones level off.” So, I anxiously awaited giving birth with the great desire to get my body back, especially my bladder and flat stomach, but also to get back my clear, smooth, acne-free skin. The desire to see my beautiful sons was high on the priority list too.  🙂

So, here I am at my first visit after giving birth and telling my OB/GYN about my acne concerns. “Don’t worry,” she says “it will take some time for the hormones to level off and you are breastfeeding, so that will also impact it. When you wean the boys you’ll be fine.” She lied! Here I am eleven years later and still have acne. To be fair, it’s not all day, every day. My acne is a result of hormones so it fluctuates with my menstrual cycle. As a result, I have good days and bad days. Over the years, I have tried everything over the counter from store brands to name brands and nothing worked! For a while I tried DIY home remedies and again nothing worked! With a hectic schedule, I have to admit that my hormones alone aren’t to blame. My career must also take responsibility for its actions and as there is only so much I can do to control my hormones and a high-stress job, I went for reinforcement.

My first ever visit to a dermatologist was a good one until the end. She did the unthinkable to me by turning me into a girl. Now let me explain – I have never been a girly girl. I have always been a tomboy and the girliest thing about me is my love for short skirts (because I have incredibly sexy legs) and high heels (because I’m short). So when I say she turned me into a girl, I mean she put me on a full- fledged morning and night beauty regime. This was never me, and I never thought it would ever be me. But alas, for the desire to look in the mirror and not cringe, I decided to take it on.

Forgive me if I sound vain, but there are just so many things that have changed about me because of my pregnancy and unfortunately it has taken over eleven years to understand and accept them. My acne was really bad and my self-esteem took a major hit, so it was really hard. For the past four months, I have been dutifully following my doctor’s orders. At first, I didn’t have any hope of my skin improving but I am happy to report that it has. I still have a few breakouts every now and then at some points during my cycle but they are nowhere near as bad as before. As a result, I don’t cringe when I look in the mirror anymore and I feel the previous me coming back. I’m still not fully comfortable taking pictures up close so you won’t see any up close selfies, but the day I do, this will be the first place I post it. Have you struggled with acne? If so, when was the last time you fought the good fight?

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The Right To My Identity

I’m very passionate about many things in my life: my children, my work ethic, women’s rights AND MY IDENTITY. In my last post, I talked about my desire to have a tubal ligation and today I have another topic that I feel very strongly about. Today I reserve the right to be Krishta-Gay Lewis and to be identified as Krishta-Gay Lewis.

What do I mean by this? I have come to realize that women lose their identities once they have a child or get married. When I had my children, I swiftly became Matthew and Michael’s mommy. No longer was I called Krishta because I was now a mother and I was identified as such. I love my sons and I am proud and honored to be their mother but I am still Krishta. When I got married, I became Gabriel’s wife. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and my role as his wife but that is not the whole me. There are still many other things outside of my being Gabriel’s wife that makes me Krishta.

When I got married, I didn’t change my last name by dropping the name I was born with and taking my husband’s name, I added my husband’s name and now have a long double-barreled name that people often ask “Why is your name so long?”. The answer is always the same “My father will never leave me but my husband might. I was born Krishta-Gay Lewis; it is who I have known myself to be all my life, who I have grown to learn, understand and identify with and who I will die as”. As I said, I love my husband and sons but being a wife and mother is not all who Krishta is. I am a nutritionist, a fitness enthusiast, a perfectionist, a professional, a career woman. Someday I will be an entrepreneur; and when I achieve this and everything else I plan to achieve in life, it will not only be as Gabriel’s wife or Matthew and Michael’s mommy, it will be as Krishta.

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We all go through that stage in life from puberty to adulthood where we search for ourselves and struggle to find out who we are, what we want and what’s our place and purpose in life. I’m sorry if I offend any of my readers but being a wife and mother was not all I had or have in store for myself. So, before you judge me too harshly please read the rest of the post with an open mind.

In her article Not in the name of marriage, Abigail Gliddon states “when a woman takes her husband’s name, she surrenders her former identity and adopts his.” I agree with this because I have seen many women do it but I also disagree with it because I never want that for myself. I believe a man falls in love with and marries a woman for the person she is when they met, and that person should remain forever. A good example of this and a great article that I found and love is Cathi Hanauer’s article Miss Independent: Keeping your identity after marriage. In it, she talks about her fears of losing her identity after marriage, how she came to recognize years into the marriage that her fears were realized and then how she took steps to get back to her old self. Like Cathi, that was a fear of mine but I refuse to lose myself. Loving my husband, sons and role as wife and mother doesn’t mean I have to give up who I am and what I want. I don’t believe that a woman should have to choose between these things as they are all a part of her life and adds to who she really is. Any one part that goes missing means there’s a void and she is no longer whole. And we all know what happens when there is a void in anything, don’t we?

So, forgive me if I sound selfish or non-traditional; but these aren’t traditional times and we are not traditional women. Today more than any other day women are doing great things while having families, so I don’t think we should still have to choose anymore; we can have it all!

Have you found that you have given up on some of your dreams, since becoming a wife or mom?

10 Questions I Wish People Would Stop Asking About Twins

There is something magical, mystifying and intriguing about twins, triplets and other multiples. As a mother of twins, I’ve been getting the aawws, wows and amazement for over ten years. As cute and humorous as it is for you, it gets tiring for me, so here are 10 questions I wish people would stop asking.

  1. Are they twins?
    • No you are seeing magic! (Rolling my eyes from here, all the way back to Mexico). Of course they are twins! Why do you think there’s an uncanny resemblance – identical face, height, weight, etc.?
  2. What’s it like having twins?
    • It’s like having two children of the exact same age!
  3. Do you get confused and mix them up?
    • No, I do not. As the mother and someone who’s been staring in their faces for over 11 years, I see two different faces, two different children.
  4. How do you tell them apart?
    • See answer to question 3.
  5. Have you fed one of them twice thinking you have fed both?
    • See answer to question 3. Truth be told though; this did happen with their paternal grandmother once.
  6. Are you sure they’re fraternal, because they look identical to me.
    • *big sigh* Yes, I am sure. The doctor and ultrasound, etc, showed two different sacs and two different placentas. Am I absolutely sure? No, because we have not done the DNA/ gene testing to confirm everything.
  7. Which one is the troublemaker?
    • They both are.
  8. Do they fight?
    • No, they are perfect little angels and they have no reason to have disagreements with each other. (insert eye roll here)
  9. Why aren’t they dressed alike?
    • *big sigh* Because while they look “identical”, they are two separate individuals with two separate identities and personalities so we treat them as such.
  10. Do you have a favourite?
    • *big sigh* Yes we do! Doesn’t every parent?!

These are the short versions of the answers as sometimes I’m in a good mood so the person asking the question feels encouraged to ask more ridiculous questions. Other times my answers are more succinct with a color of sarcasm so (some) persons take the hint and not pursue any further. Nonetheless, being a mother of twins is non-stop fun and excitement; it almost makes me wonder what life would be like with triplets!