OMG! I turned into my worrisome mother!

I used to get annoyed by my mother’s constant worrying. She worried about everywhere I went and everything I did. I am 33 years old and to this day, if I am going on a long journey she calls to find out if I have arrived at my destination safely. If I am spending the night away from home, she calls around 9 or 10pm to find out if I am safely in my hotel room. I would often tell her she should relax and stop worrying so much and she’d always say “When you are a mother you will understand.” Well, I am now a mother and I really do understand.

When you are a mother

The worrying started the day I found out I was pregnant. Of course, the first terrifying thought was “How do I tell my parents?” Remember, I had just finished my bachelors and no parent wants to know their young daughter is pregnant with twins just after finishing her first degree. So, after I got over that hurdle, the other thoughts came pouring in. There was a flood of “what ifs” about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting and it took everything in me to not panic. Thank God for the reassuring words, love and support of my family and my boyfriend (now my husband, Gabriel).

good mom

I never wanted to be a mother that worries too much, but when the boys were born, there came another completely different set of worries. Breastfeeding, SIDS, sleeping through the night, weaning, crawling and learning to walk, climbing and falling off of furniture, first day of school – the list of worries was endless! I don’t want my entire post to be all about my worries as a mom in the early years, so let’s fast forward to the most recent one. In my first blog post you learned that my boys are now 11 years old. This past weekend, we went on a family trip to the fantastic Hilton Rose Hall Resort & Spa in Montego Bay, Jamaica for our annual family Labour Day weekend getaway. The boys were having the time of their lives, and so was I, when Gabriel suggests we take a walk on the beach, leaving the boys in the pool. I was horrified! Leave my precious babies without my supervision? What if the lifeguard gets distracted at a point when they need help? What if they come down the water slide too fast and plummet into the pool faster than they anticipated? What if another child starts to play too rough with them? What if…? What if…? What if…? Nonetheless, he persuaded me that they are old enough and they will be fine; so off we went. But the “what ifs” were still plaguing my mind. It seemed like an eternity that we were walking on that beach. Yes, the scenery was beautiful and we got some great pictures, but at the back of my mind was, “Please Lord, let my children be alive and well when I get back to the pool.” Of course, the boys were perfectly happy, safe and alive when I arrived at the pool; and I was so relieved!

Worry is like a rocking chair

But it didn’t stop there! The boys went to the Teen Zone to play video games and Gabriel once again suggested we leave them; he had no idea what he did to my poor heart! So, I pretended that I was okay and said “Sure hon” and off we went again on our walk; of course, with my “what ifs” buzzing around in my head again. You would think that I learned from the pool incident not to worry and to calm my anxieties, but no, my fears were persistent! Am I irrational? Is this what all mothers do? Will I ever stop? To answer my questions, I turned to Google. It was there that I found articles about dealing with anxiety and the impact that they may have on my children later in life. I found two really useful articles about being a “helicopter parent” and dealing with chronic worrying and I would like to share them with you my fellow “worry moms”. 🙂  I found these to be very insightful and will be putting them into practice to arm myself for the next worry session.

worry and faith

Share some of your worries and how you deal with them; they could help me and my readers.

The Joys (and sorrows) of Pregnancy

My first reaction to finding out I was pregnant was “OH F*CK!” the second was “I’m going to get fat!”. I was 21 years old and in the prime of my life; I had washboards abs, fantastic legs and I liked showing them! Yes, it sounds very selfish but I really loved my abs and the thought of losing them and my hourglass shape made me want to cry. But on the upside, I was finally going to get the big breasts I always wanted!

Don't focus on the negatives, always look at the bright side!

The first trimester was horrible! I cursed Eve daily for tempting Adam with the apple and bringing down morning, noon and night sickness upon me. No amount of crackers, ginger, lemons, lemonade, or any other food or medication could tame my nausea and vomiting. The result – I lost 10 pounds! Under normal circumstances, I would be happy to drop a few pounds, but during pregnancy was not one of those times. It was at this point that I realised I was in for a rough ride!

I wasn’t able to eat properly and have a healthy diet until the second trimester. I didn’t have cravings but I had a very healthy appetite. I guess my body was making up for the first trimester. I didn’t go on a special diet; I followed my doctor’s advice and avoided the usual foods they tell you to avoid while increasing my intake of healthy fats, good carbs, fruits, vegetables, water and protein. My doctor and I were happy with my weight gain so all was well.

The real weight gain came in the third trimester as the size of my stomach seemed to double daily. Watching my body morph during pregnancy was both fascinating and scary. It was amazing to see my boys during the ultrasounds and feel them moving inside me; but then there was the unknown of what to expect when they are born. I had the usual worries about labour, breastfeeding, diaper changes, bonding with the babies, clothes, furniture, everything a new mom worries about times two! And then the news came just after I passed the seven month mark – the twins were in trouble. The last two ultrasounds showed that one was gaining weight while the other was losing, and the one who was gaining weight had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. This was compounded by the fact that they were positioned with the smaller twin at the bottom and the larger on top; definitely a breached birth if they don’t shift soon. They had been watching it and were hoping it would resolve on its own but it didn’t. I was placed on bed rest to wait for the birth of the boys. It was hard to relax and not be anxious at the same time, as the thought of losing any of the two was unbearable. All I wanted was to get them as close as possible to the nine month mark for a safe delivery. Four weeks later, they were still in a breach position, and they decided it was time to come out and face the world. They arrived via an emergency C-section weighing six pounds each. They had 10 fingers, ten toes and were perfectly healthy. Thank God for that!

My journey through pregnancy had many ups and downs, more than I could put into this post. There were days of reading to the boys, laughing, dancing and getting to know them along with the days of amazement at my growing belly and the worries of the unknown. Going on this journey with my boys and finally giving birth, made me love deeper than I ever thought possible. What about you? I would love to know about your journey.

The twins are here!Welcome Matthew & Michael

Books and babies!

How did I get here? It was not long ago that I was 21 years old, about to finish my bachelor’s degree and start a promising career when I got the news. I was pregnant – with twins! Talk about a WTF moment! But on another note, it’s one hell of a graduation present!

Don't worry, Be Happy! (2)   twins arrival.jpg

“Your life is about to change”, they said. No sh*t Sherlock; this was not in my plan, so of course my life is going to change! TWINS! Not one unplanned child, TWO! They grossly understated how much my life was about to change, as nothing could prepare me for the road that lay ahead! Anyway, fast forward through a very interesting pregnancy, wrought with several ups and downs (you’ll hear more about these in other posts) to getting back on track with my plans. I was accepted to do my masters! Now, I am not sure if many of you can relate to nights with one twin on your left leg and the other on the right, each “helping” you type that final project or thesis or using your analytical chemistry book as the bedtime story book. If you haven’t tried the textbook story thing you should, it’s hilarious when you use different voices. So yes, my life did change, dramatically and drastically, as this new method of studying was not what I was used to! But guess what? I passed with flying colours and got my masters!

I got photobombed in 2007!

So, two degrees down and I tick that from my to-do list. Next on the list, time to get a job! How lucky I must be to go into an interview and the panel asks about how and what I feed my twins. So like any new mother, I launch into mommy-mode and ramble on about how I came by my decision to breastfeed and when to stop, to what factors I considered when it was time for formula and then on to solid foods. Thank God the panel consisted of a bunch of women, because a man would have probably keeled over with boredom or stopped the interview and sent me packing. But hey, I got the job! Unbeknownst to me there was a vacancy in the infant nutrition department and I was a perfect size 9 to fill those shoes! Thank the Lord, my adorable unplanned children proved to be a blessing once again!

http___mommyinhighheelsblog.wordpress.com.jpg

The following years were a blur of temper tantrums (mine and the twins), first day of school, bicycle training, skinned knees, growing and losing teeth, business trips, homework and all the good stuff! As I climbed the corporate ladder and my life grew into the frame of my original pre-children plan; my boys grew exponentially and in proportion to my career. They are now 11 years old; and my did the time fly! It recently occurred to me that so much happened during those very quick 11 years and while I have picture memories, I don’t have anything documented. I should have been chronicling my experiences and my learning so that other mothers can benefit. That’s why I started this blog – to share my story; my joys, laughter, pain and most importantly, what I learned from it all. I want you to relax and enjoy each story with me, but most of all, I want you to share and feel with me. I am Krishta-Gay Harewood, loving wife, mother of twin boys, daughter, sister, marketer and this is my story.

to the world (2).jpg