Yep! It’s my day to be lazy. I will get to it right after work!
Yep! It’s my day to be lazy. I will get to it right after work!
Yep! It’s my day to be lazy. I will get to it right after work!
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1
She sat across from me, looking drained, defeated.
“I am a terrible mom. I can’t stop yelling at my kids. When I get ticked off, it’s like a tap that’s been turned on, under very high pressure. Everything just gushes out and I’ll not stop till am spent. It’s like a bout of ”- she looked away and sighed – “diarrhea. Then later I feel so terrible! I can’t erase the look of pain on my son’s face. I think I am ruining them and I can’t stop myself! What is wrong with me?”
Sigh. My heart resonated with her words. Her predicament struck a familiar chord within me. And here’s why.
My name is Carol and I am a Recovering Yeller.
And like all bad habits we need to recover from, I was not born…
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I’ve never been the artsy craftsy, DIY type, but I’ve realized recently that I have become more open to these types of things. I don’t know if I’m spending too much time on Pinterest or I am becoming more wifely and motherly, but I have been trying my hand at this DIY thing a lot recently. First it was my backyard herb garden, then it was DIY Christmas decorations, and a variety of other things have followed after.
So, I am obsessed with cleanliness and having a clean, fresh-smelling home. I apply the same to my laundry. The only thing that beats the smell of clean and delicately fragranced clothes fresh from the machine is the warm clothes fresh from the clothesline. By the way, in Jamaica we hardly use dryers because we have several hours of sunshine throughout the year. So after washing, our clothes are placed on the clothesline outside to be dried by the sun. As a result of my affinity for clean and fragranced clothes, I have invested heavily in Gain and Downy but recently, I decided to try a DIY version I found on Pinterest. You can check out the original 3-ingredient DIY Laundry Scent Booster here, but my recipe is slightly different.
All I had to do was combine 1 cup of each ingredient, mix well and store in an airtight container. As you can see in the picture, I have put my empty Downy Unstoppable bottle to good use. I have tried it out a couple times and as persons on Pinterest said, you will not regret it; your clothes will thank you!
Try it and let me know what you think.
I had my sons on November 24, 2004 and since that day I’ve wanted a tubal ligation. I know that I may be committing a sin to some of the mommies out there but I have to say it; I do not want any more children! I’ve felt this way and only speak about it to close family and friends as I fear the wrath of the religious and the mommies who believe that a woman should do as she was made to do “be fruitful and multiply”. To these people I must say, I am sorry.
I got the courage to share my feelings today after reading the article “No More Babies: My Tubal Ligation Surgery Part 1” by Melissa (Kreative Beautii) on My Trending Stories. Since giving birth to my boys, I have spoken to my OB/GYN, my Family Physician and a few other doctors about my feelings and they all regurgitate the same script:
So, I think you get the gist by now; I feel very strongly about this. Don’t get me wrong, Matthew and Michael are the best things to happen to me and I would never give them up for anything. So, why do I not want to have more of these blessings? Several reasons:
I don’t know if this will inspire anyone else with similar views to share them but I hope that it will impact someone the way Melissa’s article impacted me. For the persons I have offended, I am sorry but these are my views and I pledged to be honest in my blog posts when I started this blog. Whether you agree with me or not, share your thoughts in the comments section below so that we can have a spirited discussion.
Yes, I said it! Boys are better than girls. I say this from the viewpoint that I believe boys are easier to raise than girls and not that I think boys can do better or more things than girls. I have read a lot of articles about this echoing similar points to support each side respectively, but I continuously side with the boys.
What does the research say?
There are varying theories and studies to give evidence for both sides. An article, Who’s Easier: Boys or Girls by fellow mother and writer Renee Bacher in Parents Magazine, outlines the differences between the two genders. For example, she stated how girls are “emotionally high maintenance” and “talk back more” while boys are “aggressive and physical”. In Boys vs. Girls: Who’s Harder to Raise, an article by Paula Spencer in Parenting Magazine, it is said that boys are harder with respect to discipline, physical safety and school (education).
What are my thoughts on this?
When I found out I was having two boys I was ecstatic because I think girls are more work than boys and here are my reasons.
I cannot comment on what it is like to have girls but I can say that life with my boys these past 11+ years has been a breeze.
Many parents ask Gabriel and I what is the secret to having boys who are so different from the stereotype. The answer to that question – I don’t know. All I can say is, a child’s outcome depends a lot on the parent and the parenting. Nature will do part of the work to determine how your child will be and nurture will take care of the rest. I tell parents to nurture their child in the way they want them to be. I wanted brilliant, disciplined, well-mannered boys and I nurtured those behaviours. The how is different for all parents and is a great topic for a completely different blog post. Let’s leave that for another time; until then – take care!
Simple rules to live by! http://ow.ly/i/lQcuR
I have been reflecting on my life & I am very proud of how far I have come. However, I am still a #workinprogress. http://ow.ly/i/lQdS0
That’s the question so many people asked me when they found out I was pregnant. If you remember from one of my early posts, I had my sons at a young age, 21. At that time, many persons thought I was too young to handle the responsibility of raising not just one, but two children. I remember people saying, “You have a bright future ahead of you, why ruin it with a pregnancy so soon?” It was these words and those naysayers that made me decide that I will do more than just raise my two boys, but also be an exemplary role model for them. I pledged to raise intelligent gentlemen and achieve all the goals I set for myself while in school. From that moment on, they were my inspiration and motivation to succeed in everything I set out to achieve in life.
If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you’d know I had a physically and emotionally challenging pregnancy. But at all times I was determined to show everyone that not only will I survive, but I will triumph. As challenging as my pregnancy was, giving birth and raising my boys while studying for my masters degree proved to be a completely different set of hurdles. But my boys proved to be a great motivation because not only did I put those days and nights of studying, assignments, feedings and restlessness on their part to good use, but I was able to complete my masters with flying colours in the prescribed time and ahead of some of my classmates!
As I took on one challenge after another, my sons proved time and again to be great motivators. We faced each challenge head-on and conquered all like fierce warriors. Then it was their turn to start school. Their first day was an extremely emotional day for me; the boys and I cried buckets of tears as Gabriel and I took them to their classroom. As the tears flowed, I felt sorry for poor Gabriel, who had to be consoling all three of us, but it just seemed impossible to stop. Eventually, both the boys and I got ahold of ourselves and we accepted our realities. As we embraced our new routines and roles in life, we began a new journey.
During their years of school, their attitude towards schoolwork was amazing! Though I was always at the top of my class, I hated school when I was a child. My boys were different, as they enjoyed school and academics. They have amazingly curious minds that allow them to conquer their academics like great warriors. Each school term, they’ve earned places at the top of their class and have never faltered. In March, they sat the national exams called the Grade Six Achievement Test (GSAT). These are tests done by all students in Jamaican primary-level schools, for placement in high school. It is widely competitive as children prepare extensively for the two days of tests to ensure that they get into the high school of their choice. Again, my boys made me proud as their results came back with them gaining grades in the high 90’s and 100’s, earning each of them a place in one of the top schools in the country.
Today I am beaming with pride! We just got home from their graduation and man, I am proud! Matthew and Michael took home almost all the academic awards, proving yet again that Gabriel and I (in our youth) have done something right. Once again, our sons have proven to be great inspirations and motivation for me. They have shown me that not only is it important for me to do well to show the naysayers, but also for my boys to see that they too can achieve what they set out to do in life and that they too can succeed when they put in hard work.
My pregnancy didn’t ruin my life, it saved my life. This post is dedicated to my sons, my saviours, motivation, inspiration and centre of my soul. They have made Gabriel and I proud parents who are happy and grateful to lead them into adulthood; congratulations on the first leg of your journey and all the best for the next leg.
When I found out I was having twin boys, I thought long and hard about their names. This is because I have a strange name that people often mispronounce and misspell, so I didn’t want to inflict the same pain upon my children. So, for my precious babies, my criteria were simple:
During the months leading up to their birth, Gabriel and I went over various options for our second son (Michael). This is because I already knew I wanted the first one to be named Matthew. How did I come by this name? It wasn’t anything great or profound, I simply met a two year boy when I was in my teens named Matthew and he was the cutest and nicest little thing ever. When I researched the meaning of the name Matthew, I was hooked! Matthew is derived from the Bible and means “Gift of God”. Saint Matthew is said to have been one of the twelve disciples, a tax collector and the author of the first Gospel in the New Testament. Now, my husband and I are not religious persons but for us the name was fitting. Our children are a gift from God and it was only fitting that the first born got a name suited to that.
Naming our second twin Michael was a little trickier. We went through a variety of names before settling on the name Jonathan, which means “God has given”. Nice name and meaning isn’t it? Yes, we thought so too. But then we realized it didn’t sound good when you called it out loud with Matthew. For example, if they are being mischievous and I have to shout “Matthew and Jonathan”, it just didn’t have a ring to it. Also, in my country’s native tongue (patois), Jonathan is often mispronounced and that was (and still is) a big no-no for me. Gabriel and my parents also agreed, so it was back to the drawing board. One day my mother said, “What about Michael, have you considered that?” Somehow, that one eluded me so I said it out loud; Matthew and Michael. Okay, it had a little ring to it. It is hard to mispronounce or misspell Michael. Okay, we may have a winner. The final test was to check out the meaning. Lo and behold, the name Michael means “Who is like God”. Michael is one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible. In the Book of Revelation, he is portrayed as the leader of heaven’s armies, and is considered the patron saint of soldiers. Ding, ding, ding!! We have a winner!
So, here I am with my gift from God and two archangels; my husband Gabriel’s name means “God is my strong man” and he too was one of the seven archangels. What more could a wife and mother ask for? Have my boys lived up to their names? Yes indeed! Matthew is a whiz at Mathematics and not someone you want to mess with when it comes to borrowing or negotiating money and finances. Michael has demonstrated excellence in his Cub Scouts group and greatness in academics, especially Science, and is well on his way to becoming a great leader. As for our archangel Gabriel, he leads the family with the strength God bestowed upon him.
I am sure there are many other things to consider when naming your child as I found out in these articles:
These are all great things to consider and I hope my story and the articles above can be helpful to you or a friend.
Share with us your story of how you named your child(ren).
From the first day I started working I have had travelling jobs. Within my first month of my first job, I had to leave my boys for one week to go to the Dominican Republic. As beautiful and fantastic as it was, I missed my boys (all three of them). At the time, Matthew and Michael were almost two years old, and today, eleven years later, it is still hard leaving them. One job required me to travel out of the country for as many as four times for the year, for as much as two weeks on each occasion. For others, I had to travel to other parts of my country that required an overnight stay or two or sometimes three. Regardless of the time spent or where I go, I have a love-hate relationship with business trips.
As I write this blog post, I am sitting in the lounge of the Altamont West Hotel, a business hotel with a fantastic view of the Caribbean Sea. Watching the waves crash ever so gently on the beach is soothing after a really long day; the only drawback is the hustle and bustle of the busy street below that separates the hotel from the beach. Nonetheless, I try to block out the negatives and enjoy the positives.
As I sit and enjoy the cool breeze coming off the sea and the smell of the jerk pork cooking at the restaurant, Pork Pit, next door, I ponder the pros and cons of my trips over the years.
Reasons why I love business trips!
Reasons why I hate business trips
Business trips are bittersweet and this one is no different. I love the view from my room and the peace and quiet is great; but even when they drive me crazy, I love my boys and today I really miss my boys!